I have called many things love because I did not know what else to call them.
Worry that kept me awake. Help that was never requested. Silence used to avoid disappointing someone. Staying too long because leaving seemed unloving.
Some of these choices contained genuine care. They also contained fear.
This lesson helps me separate the two. There is no love but God’s.
God’s Love does not require control, self-erasure, or constant proof. It does not become more real when I exhaust myself on someone’s behalf.
That can be uncomfortable to recognize because fear often wears love’s clothing.
Worry says, “If you loved them, you would keep thinking about the problem.” People-pleasing says, “If you loved them, you would not let them be disappointed.” Control says, “If you loved them, you would make sure they choose correctly.”
Love may ask something entirely different.
It may ask me to trust another adult with their own life. It may require a boundary that produces temporary discomfort. It may mean telling the truth instead of offering the reassurance someone wants.
God’s Love does not always feel soft in form, but it never seeks punishment or diminishment.
This applies to the way I love myself too.
Indulgence is not always love, and discipline is not always attack. The question is whether the choice reflects care for what God created or fear about the identity I am trying to maintain.
I can rest because the body needs rest, not because I have earned it. I can change a harmful habit without making hatred of myself the motivation.
Today I want to examine one behavior I have labeled loving.
The answer may be to help, stay, speak, wait, or leave.
Love’s form can change.
Its source does not.