I seek a future different from the past

I say I want a different future, but I often prepare for it using the past as the blueprint.

I expect the new relationship to repeat the old one. I approach a fresh opportunity already defending against the last disappointment. I call this wisdom because it feels safer than hope.

I remember joining a group after having felt overlooked in another one. Before anyone had excluded me, I began watching for signs that they would.

When plans were made without my input, even for ordinary reasons, the old conclusion arrived immediately: here it is again.

The past was not predicting the future. I was carrying its interpretation forward.

Seeking a different future did not require me to ignore what I had learned. It meant using the learning to communicate sooner instead of using the hurt to withdraw in advance.

I asked how decisions were being made and said I would like to be included.

The conversation was simple. The future did not need to become the past.

Today I want to notice where protection has become repetition.

The future may still contain disappointment. A new choice does not guarantee a preferred result.

It does free me from unconsciously arranging the present around an old defense.

Forgiveness is how the future becomes new.

It removes the demand that every person and possibility answer for what came before.

I seek a future different from the past by allowing this moment to receive a different purpose.